What I found @ 40

41 years of existence, and last year was by far the absolute most wonderful year of my life!!!  Nothing extremely amazing happened, but I have felt more joy, more love, and more fulfillment than I have ever known.  Some of you may think, "great another but you do not understand where "I've" been story"  So let's look at what happened in my "WONDERFUL" year:

1.  I almost left my husband of 13+ years (twice),
2.  We moved (not the best, not the worst)
3.  Daughter started Jr. High (Can you say DRAMA times 10)
4.  Mother-in-law got cancer
5.  Car was almost repossessed - Procrastination BITES
6.  Never got that procrastination thing fixed
7.  Oldest made ADULT mistakes - and you have to just watch it happen ( he is smarter than me) :(
8.  Job is still hanging on.... Marc's is always just hanging on....
9.  Finances never seemed to match the budget on any given MONTH!!! How do I list the million issues that causes!!!
10.  How do I come up with enough money to pay my children's therapy bills?  I am sure I did something wrong, at least once every hour!!!

So why can I say it was the best year, Easy, it was. 

This is the year that I grew in my relationship with GOD!!!  Nothing dramatic happened, but he did show me how to be a better me.  Not to change who he made me to be, but find out who that was.  I embraced my HEART.  I learned to FORGIVE.  I learned to STAND.  I found my VOICE!  I LAUGHED louder and harder than ever before.  I ACCEPTED ME!!! I had found TRACY!  She is a funny, little wacky, nothing short of crazy lady, but I am growing to love her (wish I would have done that years ago).  I took every bad thing in my life and started sharing it with friends and family - really sharing it honestly for possibly the first time.  I found new ways to WORK through hurt, humiliation, and judgement and share them.  Amazing things happen when we open up and share.  There will always be people out there who will take that openness and use it to hurt you.  They do not do it on purpose, they tend to have their own issues, hurts, and hangups!!!  So I hope by sharing a lot of my HURTS, HANGUPS, and HAPPINESS, you will feel comfortable to share yours and then we can all laugh,cry and grow together. 
Parenting - (Just ask my daughter to post my kitchen butterfly dance for you) lesson number 1 in Parenting 101 backfired, but we are still laughing about it weeks latter!!!  I do ask that we try not to make me laugh so hard I pee my pants, it gets worse as I get older!!! oh yah, I found my HUMOR... 

Here is a link to a book that changed soooo much for me this year.  I highly reccommend it.  http://www.crazylovebook.com/

A song that got me through this year and I keep posted all over the walls of my office is BORN AGAIN, this is who I am!!!  Check it out.  www.songlyrics.com/newsboys/born-again-lyrics

So look for a post tonight on MARRIAGE.  I thank the good lord above that he is patient, gracious, and he helps me find my way through myself!!!