July 12, 2012
Parenting Lesson 101 - My 12 year old daughter and technology... 

It is a well know fact that I am fully aware that I am not parent of the year, although I keep trying.  My attempts have led me to the fact that I will have to shell out more money in thereapy for my children than I will for college educations.  Still, there are those parental moments that make you gasp, beat your head on the wall, or just want to give up all together.  My thought is lets do something about it.    

The Situation:  Maddi (Madz) adds new "Apps" to her ITouch. (with permission)
The Problem:  Madz is sharring info and pictures with friends and people we do not know. More like facebook than a mom realized.

Madz is a very mature level headed 12 year old girl, but she IS a 12 year old girl with friends just like her.  I often forget that teenage girls can be mean, vindictive, and the sweetest little liars.  I use to think that by staying involved and showing up to the school at least 2-4 times a year to check in on her and the other girls in the class as well as having countless sleepovers at our house was enough.  It's not even close.  The things that young girls say "post" to each other can be hurtful and damaging to other kids.  We have rules on texting, no facebook, and phone calls.  The first time there was a bully type text sent to her, I called the parent and put a stop to it that day.  It caused a backlash of ugliness none the less.  It started some awful three way calls and sneaky behind the back discussions.  This too we put a stop to and had to take away Madz phone, eventhough she was not the problem, but she was now involved. 

With instagram, Madz can share pictures with friends and people she may not know.  I was horrified to find out that some 17 year old boy was posting inappropriate comments to Madz pictures and immediately had her block him.  It is only the begginging of things to come.  I sat down with her and we talked about what you put out there is public, everyone can see it, read it and make comments.  It is not her fault that there are inappropriate people out there, but it is her responsability to make sure that she does not react poorly because of it.  We discussed the issues with some of her friends and the way that they talk about others.  It is simply not Ok.  She understood and was sad for a few kids who get picked on by others in the class. 

For now the instagram is up and she is using it for good.  I hope that by talking about it everyday and checking on her post that we can keep her safe, but I am not so sure. 

We did find a great movie that we watched as a family last night, and I highly recomend that you do the same with your kids.  It was an ABC Family special "Cyberbully".  Spend some time talking about what is going on and why it is happening.  Check out the blog below to see if it is right for you and your family.

Good Luck on your 12 year old technology challenges!!!

http://blog.socialshield.com/2011/7/19/%E2%80%9Ccyberbully%E2%80%9D-movie-shows-real-dangers-teens-face-online-today.aspx